Issue Five, this fourth day of April, 2003

Summertime, and sleeping is easy

Monday - gosh the bikesheds are empty. Sai late in this morning - I wonder if he remembered to put his clocks forward? He claims he did, but . . . We spent afternoon tea basking in glorious sunshine. The feeling was one of waiting for the hangman. Maybe this is how the Iraqis feel.

Tuesday - dull, grey and windy. That figures. 15 minutes to smile loss, 1 hour to murderous intent. When will he ever learn how to use a computer?

Wednesday - a blur. Beta-octylglucopyranoside today's favourite. I think the SauronSaying counter must reset to zero in aeroplanes - we all had a full house several times over.

Thursday - Ammonium sulphate precipitation gives you two for the price of one, apparently. AS precipitation is a technique that everyone has forgotten about, he says. That's because it's SHITE, Sauron.

Friday - I think I'm going home early today. It's hard to breathe and my head and throat hurt. Fingers crossed for the first confirmed case of SARS in the UK. Apparently dioxane is good for combatting twinning problems; you know, he has *never* said that before.

I'm now off to pervert the course of science.

Tearing my hair out,

Richard (- suicide is painless).