THINGS THAT DON'T HAPPEN TO REAL PILOTS

  1. Your wife does not leave the ironing in the cockpit.
  2. Your cat does not jump on the flight controls during take-off
  3. The neighbours do not come round part way through the execution of a formation turn.
  4. The pinger on the oven does not go off in the middle of heated combat.
  5. Coffee does not steam up the cockpit glass.
  6. Your wife does not get fruity with you on the job.
(Thanks Nige.....)