Yesterday started out like just another day on the Enterprise, until I got summoned to the commander's room.
"Nice day, Commander," he greeted me. "We've got a little job for you."
"Always ready, sir", I replied. Little did I know what he had in mind.
"Well, Commander. We've received a report that the North Koreans intend to use some nukes on our friends the Japanese (who didn't much appreciate the last time they were on the receiving end of that). There's a silo base that needs to be destroyed."
"No problem, sir!" I answered.
"I'm so glad you feel that way, Commander. There are a few details, you see. First, we've reason to believe the North Koreans have installed at least two advanced active-radar guided SAM sites in the vicinity. And they just recently moved a squadron of elite Flankers and Floggers to a nearby airbase, so you'll have to be careful."
"Very well, sir."
"Also, because of the flu epidemic, the only pilot (besides you) who is shipshape is Bubba, and, as you know, he's a little slow."
"Uh, I understand, sir."
"And, what's more, our fire control system seems to have gotten infected with some kind of virus. We won't be able to give any SAM or AAA support, should enemy planes get within range."
"Sounds serious, sir! I do hope you'll get it fixed."
"The good news is that they've installed an 'Earthworm' ICBM there, too -- you know, the kind that tends to blow up when hit. I suggest you aim for that and hope the blast takes out the rest of the silos. Good luck, Commander!"
Good luck indeed, I thought while climbing into the cockpit. Bubba was the worst pilot ever to get into the Navy. I only wish I was as good as he thought he was. It's a miracle he's still alive -- I don't know how many times he's been rescued after parachuting out of a burning Hornet.
Considering the amount of opposition I was likely to meet, I'd decided that the only way to get at the site was by doing a lightning-fast, stealthy, low-altitude strike, and back out again. So I only loaded up with two Mavericks and extra fuel, leaving everything else behind, thinking that I'd be finished anyway if the enemy aircraft got to me before I hit the target.
I strapped in, powered up, and launched. I hit full afterburners right away, and plotted a course somewhat to the north of a large mountain between me and the target. At 530 kts I powered down to AB 1, flying at around 200 feet, listening for the RWR. Pretty soon, I'd used up my extra fuel, and jettisoned the tank.
Once I got round the mountain, I pointed my nose at the target, which was within about 10 miles by now. I popped up, switched to SSS radar, and looked for the ICBM. Sure enough, there it was! By this time, the enemy SAM site had locked on and fired on me, but I managed to duck successfully. Then I got my Mavericks on the way (I handed off from the SSS radar), and broke hard back towards the sea, diving towards the deck.
I wasn't quite fast enough. Another SAM was coming at me, this time straight from the rear. Despite my ECM and chaff, it exploded uncomfortably close, taking out one of my engines, radar, hydraulics, TACAN, and autopilot. Then I was low enough to be out of sight. Seconds after, I heard and felt the deep rolling sound of a massive explosion -- my Mavericks had hit the ICBM, and the site was wiped out!
Luckily my radio still worked, and the Enterprise's ASO vectored me to the carrier. However, some bogeys had acquired me by now, and were closing fast -- I could only move at about 300 kts with one engine!
The Enterprise was already in sight when the bogeys got within range. I counted six missiles launched at me. At least four hit close enough to do damage, but miraculously my one engine was still go. Almost everything else was out, though, and the bogeys were closing to cannon range. I decided that a carrier landing was too risky, and ditched next to the Enterprise, from where I got picked up. The Flankers continued buzzing around like angry wasps, probably wondering why the Enterprise's AAA wasn't doing anything, and asking themselves why they didn't load up with any A/G weaponry. Eventually the small-arms fire from the crew drove them away.
Oh, Bubba? He flew straight at the incoming bogeys, within range of the SAM sites, thinking he could take them all out by himself, and got cut to shreds by SAMs and Atolls. He bailed out, and there's a group of SEALs out to look for him. If things go as usual, he should be back by tomorrow. Hope they get the viruses out of the Enterprises AA defences by then. We should be getting some more Hornets soon; at this rate, there won't be many left...
Well, that's about it for today. I did get a congratulatory telegram from the Japanese Emperor. I'll frame it.
Much love, your son, Cmdr Ishmael Disabled
PS. Do be careful at the convention next week, and make sure to check the carb on the starboard engine of the Mosquito. You wouldn't want it to die in the middle of the pylon race. Someone else might win!
PPS. Take the bullets out of the guns. We can't have you shooting down the competition like last time.
PPPS. Say hi to Dad, if you hear from him. Shouldn't he be getting close to the Pole by now?