Gems from uk.comp.sys.mac





Re: PC World - <shock>

Thu, 13 Dec 2001 11:57:58 GMT

D.M. Procida wrote on 13/12/01 9:00 am

> James Savage  wrote:
> >> Today I was told I'm not allowed to use the term 'disabled'... oh
>> the irony...
> > So what are you supposed to say?
> > I think now might be the time to start using terms like 'fucking
> cripple' instead.

As in "I'm going to 'fucking cripple' my buggy extensions to stop them
crashing my Mac"?

"Differently Able" is the US sick making PC terminology

D.M. Procida

Declaration of Not Murdering Language


Tue, 19 Feb 2002 09:34:39 GMT


        Whereas clarity is the foundation for the possibility of
communication between individuals,

        Whereas the aesthetic properties of the written word are
indivisible from its communicative function,

        Whereas the cultural diversity of the Internet community is one
of its greatest assests,

        Whereas a spirit of cultural tolerance is essential to the
quality of communication on the Internet,

        Whereas a common understanding of these values and principles is
of the greatest importance for the full realization of this pledge,

Now, therefore uk.comp.sys.mac proclaims this Declaration of Not
Murdering Language as a common standard of achievement for all those who
read the newsgroup, to the end that every individual, keeping this
Declaration constantly in mind, shall strive by teaching and education
to promote respect for these principles and by progressive measures to
secure their universal and effective recognition and observance

Article 1. 
All words have a spelling.

Article 2.

No word shall be wilfully abused unless it's funny.

Article 3.

'App' is not a legitimate word.

Article 4.

It is not acceptable to abbreviate words to single letters which sound
like them.


Gareth John

Re: Flash MX

Mon, 15 Apr 2002 16:42:39 +0000 (UTC)

Woody wrote:

> The Dutch railway system is great but they will insist on putting up signs
> in Dutch!

Instant Dutch: 

Lesson one: all verbs are the English verb with the letters 'ge' stuck
in front: gepark, gereserve, etc. All other words are anagrams of
English, or sound exactly the same as English if they are spoken by a Dutchman.

Lesson two: There is no more you need to know, except that they still
quite like the British and are no afraid to show it. Oh, and they all
speak at least six other languages.

Peter Ashby

Re: Dumb Sherlock Question/ Mac 'Help' rant

Mon, 07 Jul 2003 14:39:12 +0100

In article <>,
 "Richard P. Grant"  wrote:

> In article <>,
>  Elliott Roper wrote:
> > [1] please god, tell me I got that apostrophe right.
> Dear Elliott,
> You got that apostrophe right.
> love,
> God.






Re: Why upgrade from Jaguar to Panther?

Mon, 15 Mar 2004 16:42:58 +0000

Woody  wrote:

> maybe microsoft will loose the source code to Word 5.1

Was that a deliberate mistake? My funnybone has been tickled either way.

 opens cage 
"Go, source code, run wild and free!".


J. Simon van der Walt

Re: Detached ghosts in the uplink? [OT]

10 May 2004 19:26:07 GMT

zoara wrote:

> J. Simon van der Walt wrote:
> [entirety snipped]
> I love the subject line. Sounds like a William Gibson title.

Cor, ta!

"...van der Walt, whose work has been compared to that of William

Pity I'm a composer and not an author. Or that Gibson isn't a composer.
Or something.


Bella Jones

Re: [OT] Comic sans

Fri, 16 Jul 2004 19:57:42 +0100

Elliott Roper wrote:

> I just live with misplaced carets in Lucida Grande here in Thoth.

Imagine that sentence anywhere but here.

Otherwise: 'It was a dark night when I arrived in Thoth. I stopped in
the sleaze-ridden border town of Lucida Grande, where I was obliged to
share accommodation with carets who had come from far and wide, on the
run from communities which had never accepted them. They had long since
forgotten the way home. I stayed for five years.'

Or something. :-)


Elliott Roper

Re: [OT] Comic sans

Fri, 16 Jul 2004 20:30:06 +0100

Eh Senôr, you wann meet meet my Çedilla? Verr, young, verr clean. Sans serif.		

Nigel Eastmond

Re: Yet another switcher

In article <>, (Jon B) wrote:

> It is all in the art of shortening the text to fit it all in the 160 > character limit, to either a) save credit b) from the days you could > only send a single text at a time not these new fangled link texts.

Or say stuff that's only 160 characters long. The most important phrases of all time will fit a phone text:

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman." - Bill Clinton "Go, go. go!" - Commander of SAS team storming Iranian embassy "The Lady's not for turning." - Rt Hon. *guess who* "There are knowns, there are unknowns and there are known unknowns." - Donald Rumsfeld TW.T "I have become comfortably numb." - Pink Floyd (and now, I hear to my horror, the fscking Scissor Sisters) "We will fight on the beaches, we will fight them on the landing grounds; we will never surrender." - Rt Hon. Winston Churchill "I have a dream." - Martin Luther King "The boot is on the other Schumacher." - Murray Walker "We have had an annas horriblis." HRH Queen Elizabeth II "I find it better to use freshly grated parmesan/nutmeg [delete as appropriate]." - Delia Smith "I found it on eBay." - Weird Al Yankovich "You're stealing from me." - Steve Jobs "Ningnningningningng... ningnininignging..." - Crazy Frog