Gems from uk.comp.sys.mac




Peter Ceresole

Re: A few questions...


Sat, 10 Jan 2004 00:51:36 +0000

In article <btn3tp$sus$>,
 (Richard P. Grant) wrote:

>Perfect martini:  6 jiggers gin direct from the freezer,  1 olive, open
>the martini bottle and close it again.  Enjoy.

Oh God... Back in the '60s when I did that sort of thing, I rode a
motorbike out to Eltham to find a party. I had a girl on the back, my mate
followed on a scooter with another girl on the back of his- she was the
pretty one and he was expecting to score. Mine was the plain friend, I
didn't expect anything and that's exactly what I got... It was late autumn,
and it was cold with that raw dampness that you get when the dew is so
heavy that every blade of grass is weighed down and the mist rises under
the suburban street lights. At which point we met the party walking back
across Eltham common- they'd been chucked out. We all made it to some
ghastly unheated flat off the South Circular where we sat down in a nasty
jumbled room. My mate and his sexy passenger disappeared out the back where
they got involved in some penetrative central heating. As the rest of us
crumpled into terminal jealousy, boredom, tiredness and pissed-offedness,
one chap pulled a bottle of Vermouth out of one pocket and one of gin out
of the other. He mixed himself a martini by taking alternate swigs. We
looked on in glaucous and nauseous hatred. At the end of this foul display,
he patted the Vermouth bottle and put it away saying- 'This'll be
breakfast.' I was nearly sick on the spot.

Wow, the romance of the sixties.



Re: Why so quite?

22 May 2004 08:45:51 GMT

Jim wrote:

> In article <>, Bonge Boo! wrote:
> > I know one. Leave it to ferment for a good couple of weeks, then drink
> > entire vat. Leads to co-ordination over-flow vulnerability.
> >
> Not to mention CRC errors on /dev/brain

The usual clues that you've been infected by ScrumpyBuzor malware are:

- data inaccuracies, usually returning values larger than expected,
especially when loading skillset parameters.

- drive errors, erratic movement of the arm, in extreme cases resulting
in a head crash.

- I/O errors. Usually limited to garbled output, but overloading the
input buffers can sometimes trigger input rejection. If this occurs
there may also be a delay followed by disc burning during a core dump.

- RAM failure. One of the main reasons ScrumpyBuzor attacks recur. The
system-wide memory failure affects the logging mechanism, making it
difficult to reconstruct the sequence of events. This means any attempts
to analyse the attack must rely on external records, such as
embarrassing photographs, averted eyes the following day, invoices for
damage and subpoenas.